slack

i've been slacking. really. and watching whese dance videos on youtube is helping me to slack. freak! i just made it sound like a good thing. for this coming exams i have resorted to spotting questions- like i have always done for the past 4 years in med school. dammit. i was asking my friend the other day whether we should be studying red cell diseases and he said no cause it's not in syllabus. i was like "since when was something not in syllabus dude?" so i asked him," what do u do then if someone comes in with anemia etc etc dx as myelofibrosis?" he said,"refer to specialist la!"
anyway i didn't know what to reply. half-shocked and half-relieved, more relieved i guess for not having it included in exams, then again i didnt recall anyone giving us a proper lecture on that topic. maybe it's assumed we'll be picking it up along the way somewhere- maybe the exams mcq questions (i won't b surprised and everyones is it?-something new to learn somewhere, at least they included THAT in the objectives, bloody DO)- sometime..maybe after they tested it then they'll give us a lecture on it cause everyone did badly for the question(s). i'm supposed to be halfway through second round of revisions and i'm here whining about the state i am in, like what my batchmates do- sometimes all the time. i dont know why when medical students meet we keep whining about the stuffs at hand, the difficult postings, the evil tutors from this and that department of this n that hospital, etc. but then again sometimes i do that too, i'm not complaining actually, just a bit on the edge about the coming papers...100mcqs negative marking, 15 stations of pots and slides and 4 essays. at point when i'm like a bit worked up, i had to hear my seniors taking the mbbs finals talk about the warths of medical and surgical clinical and theory finals! and having exams on SUNDAY!! what?! i don't feel like doing mbbs finals already (whine some more). whaddaheck.
okok... i'm off to watch dance videos on youtube...
here's bob fosse's the aloof from rich man frug's which kena cut off like 50 secs into it but check out their postures....
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LZnFQvlb2OA&search=bob%20fosse
and some pseudo whacking, hip-hop-some-can-makeit-some-cannot-girls
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aRNzWyD7C9o&feature=Favorites&page=1&t=t&f=b
and one of the dance pieces from all that jazz..
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pNW7DrN1rsg&search=all%20that%20jazz

~slack~

it doesn't help that i have exams coming up end of the month and there's 3 yrs of stuf to study and that there is so many things i wanna do. and have not been very productive too. i have an inertia problem and it's aggravated by the fact that i get distracted easily- point proven- look what i am doing now. and mr. robbins the pathology textbook is staring at me and all my untouched, unflipped, unread notes are giving me guilty looks of procrastination. there's so many things to read! i'll just spot qns i guess- wat's new.
many events and gossips about the happenings here and there got me thinking about people's bo chup-ness and apathy and that revealed some similarties between myself and them. somehow i feel that i have to have years to catch up with these things and sometimes i feel disengagement would be better but washing hands clean and evading unwritten responsibilities or rather, not helping out when u can with whatever resource u have could be well, irresponsible- to say the least. then again, i dont wanna get affected, but this thought antagonises the virtue of righteous altruism and therefore even if i dont do anything i get affected, cause i'll reminiesce, and sometimes i share peoples' sentiments, their predicaments having come from the same background and having gone through similar trials and tribulations, while for other experiences i just emphatise, not just actually, sometimes i add my own little opinions and be judgmental and all that- hey i'm human too k. despite that i still don't know what practical things to do. not even what to think of all these complexities of (cliche) human behaviour, and i wonder how those psychiatrist deal wit their lives after being bombarded with the turmoil of others.
then there's the relationship errr (segment?/section?/twist?) i dunno. and there's so many depressed people going around. i can't generalise depress people they are depressed for any diferent a reason, sometimes the trivialest ones like chipped my nails. but i know sometimes they try to cope, somehow and most times some pull through and move on. and as i said, things like these made me think too. of many things that could be depression inducing, in my life( well it's my blog ain't it?), which you won't know what and for somethings already here and part of ur life, u don't know when things are gg to happen and how. and that bit of uncertainty leaves u insecure and sometimes helpless, but u still think about it and it gets into a vicious cycle of feeding into it elements of hate, joy, sorrow everytime u recollect and well it sucks. sometimes u wish the world could do with a little bit more certainty and more consistency- when it comes to whatever. but then we'd be creatures with eyes to see, mouth the speak, tongues to taste, nose to smell, ears to hear, skin to touch but no brains to think. but at times i wished i hadn't think too much.