this or that

maybe i'll decide to cut my hair or maybe i won't; maybe i'll do this today..nah maye not... or maybe i wish i'd be a pilot today and a doctor tom...you see that's the plight of man. yes, thats us for you...you me and everyone else. get to the point i hear you say?? ok it's just that sometimes or most, for some of us, we just can't seem to make up our bloody minds. decisions just can be irksome, you know. and for one part knowing that you have to make one for someone whose life depends on it does not make it any better. but more irritatingly, there are times when you just go into a vicious cycle of the myriad options you have to come to that one conclusion that may or may not be like, i would put it, significant or significantly affect your course in life, unless of course you belief in some, for some unknown reason i don't know what religion, weird beliefs!! at the same time, some others would go to the extend, oh-so-kindly, of getting frens involved in their decision making, which can be fun..you know, when you are shopping for the latest hip stuff on the market, but at the other spectrum, it can, simply, really piss someone off with one's, "oh my god, should it get this or this or this, BUT it doesnt go with this doesn't it, gosh, gee...hhmm maybe we should try the other shop or the other pair....or it makes me look fat or doesnt show my muscles right? right? right?" bullshit-crap. the 'fren' might just come to the point of inconsolable, and what one doesn't know or see beneath the overzealously smirking heck of a reluctant grimaceful smile, is probably the brain getting into a coma and repeatedly chanting," make-up-your-mind-bitch/bastard-cos-i-don't-give-a-damn-no-more-you-mother-F%$king-son/daughter-of-a-wh*&e-what's-up-with-the-i-can't-make-up-my-mind-crap-alright-already!!!" and of course, how can i forget the," you know that REALLY looks good on you dude/girlfriend!!! or yeah..you rock sista, bro, tat's so cool...awwwmygawwdd...work it man!!" response that REALLY is, well, whatever!!
so you see, i would want to illustrate that point but i'm in some kinda dilemma, cos i don't quite knwo which story to tell now....hmmm.....should i use the med story or what about the KL trip one cos that one's nasty..oh wait..yeah i coud talk about my shopping experience or nooooo...this one's really going to get it acrosss........











whatever..............

hope

under the block of flats,
i sit contemplating as the sun,
rises from behind the shadows,
of concrete.

a folded cigarette;
an elderly lady cut into the glaring light,
that plasters my face;
with the warmth of life.

pacing herself with each steping gait
walking on by initially,
oblivious to the trespassing
act she commited;
for trouble appears to be the load of her
conscience as she turned,
mustering a smile.

Of hope that is life that emanates ;
from within.