this is cool beans...updates... nothing much moving to a new ward cum 1st Nov the big changeover is pending.. call roster is out..as usual it sucks! there's like one public holiday call..but what is new...public holiday is good...hope there's like lesser admission it usually is the after after that's a killer.
started to try to go gym and trying to lose some mass...maybe need to lose like 6kg...dont noe how that is gg to happen..but it will haha...
and starting to think of so many plans like i am manic person...which reminds me i better read up on some pharmacology before Nov begins...brush up on some things i forgot..waddaheck...

it's hari raya already and it's mid october. gosh how time flies. and the older we get and the more we have to have plans and goals and purpose as to what we wanna achieve the next few years. and where am i in this so called plan? nowhere...we i have some things in mind..some maybes and some i really wanna do that next time but these are like pieces of jigsaw left as well..pieces of jigsaw, where sometimes i feel no effort is made to achieving that final product. and there are so many things to do and so little time and plus i dont really noe where to start and focus. so maybe i should write them down in my big book of plans- which i dont have by the way- and start detailing the bits...to the littliest crumb of detail i can...and take action....hmmm...sounds like a good idea....i'll keep myself posted...
so many things so little time.....lalala....

taufik

it's been a month now at some hospital in singapore. and doing internal medicine as a posting here can be quite tough. and sometimes depressing. not depressing cause people die and relatives get abandoned cause they just had a stroke and become 'useless' to those who used to love them right up to the point it happened, but more like depressing cause i got myself into this in the first place. At times, there are moments you feel like u are making a big difference but at other times-which sometimes happen to be most of the time- you just feel like why am i doin this s*&t over and over again y'all. and i bet no one in their sane will want to be a doctor if they know that they will end up doing the things i do now. if u are reading this and if u have been watching the first season of Grey;s anatomy-it's not entirely bull!- it's real--> yup the torture, the 'changes' and having to have the patience to deal and to hold on to whatever sanity u have left just to get thru the day, is a blessing and u're alright if u go berserk. what i should have done was to listen to my seniors back then when i was a first year medical student--> but having said all that, i have no regrets, well....i whine and bitch and trash people and aliens sometimes- people do that right?- but i take myself through the thorny, depression inducing journey and morale slamming path that i tellmyself from day one of this profession," i will survive this!" and what's better was that along the way i found passion and i found love and purpose. and that's what's worth living and striving for! oh man....u piece of emo shit!