it's been a month now at some hospital in singapore. and doing internal medicine as a posting here can be quite tough. and sometimes depressing. not depressing cause people die and relatives get abandoned cause they just had a stroke and become 'useless' to those who used to love them right up to the point it happened, but more like depressing cause i got myself into this in the first place. At times, there are moments you feel like u are making a big difference but at other times-which sometimes happen to be most of the time- you just feel like why am i doin this s*&t over and over again y'all. and i bet no one in their sane will want to be a doctor if they know that they will end up doing the things i do now. if u are reading this and if u have been watching the first season of Grey;s anatomy-it's not entirely bull!- it's real--> yup the torture, the 'changes' and having to have the patience to deal and to hold on to whatever sanity u have left just to get thru the day, is a blessing and u're alright if u go berserk. what i should have done was to listen to my seniors back then when i was a first year medical student--> but having said all that, i have no regrets, well....i whine and bitch and trash people and aliens sometimes- people do that right?- but i take myself through the thorny, depression inducing journey and morale slamming path that i tellmyself from day one of this profession," i will survive this!" and what's better was that along the way i found passion and i found love and purpose. and that's what's worth living and striving for! oh man....u piece of emo shit!