I express utter displeasure at the foolish, uneducated, irrational act committed by my fellow siblings whom, without discretion, doubt and consciousness, deleted- in its entirety - valued documents on the home PC! I abhor their impassiveness, the undisclosed condemnation and their audacity to sleep soundly thereafter.

I had a very tiring day. Mostly because it was self inflicted. I made the mistake of going for 2 dance classes- one jazz and one hip-hop/jazz funk workshop. I enjoyed them but my hamstrings are starting to ache, like major! And i thought to myself, i've never had this feeling since like what....pre-MBBS, which was like 2 freaking years ago! And despite being exhausted and being reminded that mr taufik has got no stamina during mazlan's VERY ghetto hip hop to pussycat dolls, i pushed myself, which to me, was defo self-satisfying (and also partly because i do not want to lose out to all those <20 yr olds with such BEAMing energy).

Surprisingly, the jazz instructor was Vincent (he taught me beginner's hip hop long ago!). It was not vincent that was surprising, it was how freaking young he looks- he practically looks the bloody same the last time i saw him- that was like 7-8 yrs ago? How can anyone look the same? I mean same yes, but no sign of aging, no white hair! (even i get white hair! and i'm only _ _ yr old!) Then i thought, freak it must be jazzzzzz (add the broadway jazz hands...and the jazz square!). So i decided that once Rusman (another of my jazz and contemporary teachers) decides to teach again, that is when i'll get back to jazz; or if that takes too long i might go for other jazz classes- despite them NOT really being 'jazz' per se. I MISS doing broadway jazz.....and i miss the Fosse-influenced movements, the Luigi warm ups that NEVER got put into practice and the jazz MUSIC! sigh. But i figured before going back to the leaps and the pas de deux, i better dis-possess some (alot actually!) of my insulation - you get my drift...In hip hop however, it is ok because my 'covering' is hooded in the baggy clothes.

I remembered how i was pissed with rozana for NOT 'feeling' the music for 2008 NYE competition and i just stomped off the dance studio- looking visibly pissed (of course!- what else would i look like!?). Today Mazlan must have been like secretly bitching shit to himself about those who didn't. I, certainly (haha!), did (da feelin', not da bitchin')!

Current jam: Otis Redding's These Arms of Mine (now playing for the 12th time....)

i had a terrible shift earlier. 4-12 with 3 other doctors on the afternoon shift. it always gets hectic after 6pm. i bummed into a fellow colleague from UK who looked visibly upset and i think i understand how she felt. i did not offer any consolation -how evil- because i thought she would not want one anyway. i would not have accepted any if i were her because i hate the feeling of being pitied or empathized.
but i ended with a 5 year old sweet little girl who sustained a small laceration over her right parietal and shed no ounce of tear. i was delighted to stitch her up. but she was primed prior to getting stitched. and i like the way her parents reasoned, to such a young little thing, who's apprehension of pain gets blown into exaggerated proportion at the sight of the perceived potential "harm-doing" (i was guilty of that- every adult was right? whatever it is, i am normal!)
i am reading VS Naipaul's autobiography and learning so much about the life of this literary genius. i highly recommend it.
i have an 8-4 ER shift later and i am not asleep because my circadian cycle is all screwed up thanks to this routine irregularity. i did, however, popped some sleeping aids earlier and have not yet felt its effect, hitherto. 0236am, 2nd april 2009.