nothing much to say or do...........

Book of the moment - kafka on the Shore (haruki MURAKAMI)

(staying among) ghosts

it's cold here. and i'm greeted by ghosts. yellow ghosts. i'm reminded of maxine hong kingston. the way she details friday mornings in the american suburbs. except that this is not chinatown, california but a corridor where we meet but feel so far apart. i liken to many things i do in life. being with people with the same endeavours though never sharing commonalities. i go back to them ghosts. funny. they breathe the air, walk on the same pastel blue coloured cheap parquet, eat the same food. i wonder. whatever did they thought about me? if they knew we were worlds apart but we're here. like this ghost here sitting beside me, as i type and him chatting on msn probably with other ghosts he sees online. i wonder what is life like for him out there, wherever he belongs. that tingle, the shiver of curiosity running down my spine. i want to say something but i dunno, what these ghosts are thinking, they spook me out sometimes, a few of them already did. they go round demanding their rights in a foreign place. it is foreign and made more foreign. i caught 2 ghosts talking to themselves and i ponder about their verbal exchange. i told one of them i'm more gesturically interpretive than lingual. maybe that is why they don't move their hands. just like ghosts, floating effortlessly, in their own world and maybe ours, talking among themselves, and go scaring other people. i get suspicious. but i brush that thought away. i mean what can a ghost do right? they won't talk to you. but that is ok. they wouldn't go around frightening others right? would they? i am not afraid of ghosts. ok maybe those black ghosts, who go clucking their syllabi, and popping air from their larynx and freaking people out with the whites of their eyes. brr. again, maxine hong comes to mind, she ever mentions being a warrior chasing ghosts away from the town she calls home, and being abducted by beings that train her to drive ghosts away. she did just that 15 years later. or was it 20? i am not sure. but fighting ghosts is difficult i guess. there's ghosts everywhere and they come in diversity. maybe i think too much about these ghosts. maybe i need something, like some kind of reassurance that these ghosts are, well, ok. i am not sure. i can't be certain. i'll try though. not fight like what maxine did. communicate. dinner will be served at 20.15. i'll try then.